The Hetalian's Book of Awesome Fanfiction
by Churros 'n' Waffles x3
Summary: When the Nations discover 'The Hetalian's Book of Awesome Fanfiction', a book filled with fanfiction of them, they find out that fanfiction writers are always interesting, if not, crazy.
1. Chapter 1

Hi thar! This is my 3rd fanfic (one that isn't going to be a one shot) and will be the only one I work on for a while! I'll try to post 1 a day and please ignore my english errors ^^'

DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN HETALIA BECAUSE IF I DID, I WOULD'VE ALREADY MADE A EPISODE WHERE CANADA PLAYS HOCKEY AGAINST EVERYONE. JUST SAYIN'

'You'll never guess what I found in the library!' shouted Gilbert, as he sat down on the couch between Antonio and Lovino. In his hands he held a thick book, with a navy leather binding.

'A book?' said Antonio.

'Yes!'

'Good for you, Gilbert,' said Lovino, looking a bit miffed. 'After only six and a half years at the academy, and you've finally found out what the library's for. I am so proud of you, I could cry. Now, do you know what people generally do with books or have you not yet reached that stage?' Lovino remarked, sarcastically.

'There's no need to unleash your sexual tension on me, Vargas,' said Gilbert. 'Antonio is sitting right over here. And yes, I know what to do with a book. The thing is, this book is awesome (but not as awesome as me!). It has stories – about us! And some other people, but lookie here.' He opened the book and read, "Valentine's day has come and love is in the air everywhere! People are giving gifts to their loved ones. But! Feliciano is worried about Lovino. He thinks that Lovi is being such a loner; everyone doesn't have a lover but many of them tries, but not Lovi! This is just a cut off summary! Please view for full summary! Warning: AU, Gauken, Hint of Spamano, Spabel, ItaxHRE, Nyos!"

(I'm going to write a story for each chapter because it's obviously not be a good idea for me to take another person's story ^^" But I'll take Waffle's stories.)

That's about you, Lovino! And little Ita-cakes!'

Lovino's jaw dropped and he snatched the book from . As his eyes skimmed over the summaries of stories, she raised her eyebrows higher and higher until they were invisible. 'This is… weird,' he finally said.

'Do my eyes deceive me, or is that Gilbert holding a book?' said Matthew, glancing up from his history essay he'd been slaving over for 2 hours. (Kay...maybe not that long)

'It's about us,' said Lovino. 'I… have never… Wow... wait. "The Hetalian's Book: An odd mixture of some of the best, funniest, strangest, slashiest and otherwise awesome Hetalia Fanfictions." "Fanfiction?" Lovino repeated, incredulously.

'What is fanfiction?' said Antonio. 'Why would it be about us?'

'Fanfiction means that, well, a story was written about us by, say, me, other people who are fans of the story would write stories about it,' said Matthew. Their confusion seemed to be lessened by Matthew explaining. 'So if I wrote a book about you, and other people would, I don't know, write a story from someone else's perspective. That right there, is called fanfiction.'

'And people write that about us?' Antonio sounded intrigued. 'I want to know what they're writing about us. That one about Lovi being a loner seems fun. May I read it? Pwease?' Said Antonio, giving the puppy dog eyes.

'Aha. No.' Lovino replied, flatly.

And in a flash, Antonio went to sulk in a corner, growing mushrooms, of course.

'HELLO? Have you forgotten about the awesome guy who found this?' Gilbert shouted, stealing the book back from Lovino, and waving the book around. 'Now,' GIlbert started, flipping through the pages, 'I'm willing to share because i'm just that awesome, but I get to choose what we read. Unless you don't want to read about yourselves.'

'I'm quite curious.' Matthew said, forgetting about the his essay.

'So am I-" Before Lovino could finish, Matthew's older twin brother, Alfred charged into the dorm with a grumbling Englishman and a cheery Frenchman.

"Now, now, Angleterre-"  
"HEY, IGGY-"  
"BLOODY HELL, SHUT UP, YOU WANKERS-"  
"LOOK AT THIS-"

Lovino, upset that he was interrupted, swiftly picked up the book, and threw it at the trio, Alfred specifically. It knocked down the American who fell on the Englishman who fell on the Frenchman. Like human dominoes. (I really wanted them to get in the story but I didn't know how to so, sorry for the sucky entrance .3.)

'Hello, Alfred, Arthur, Francis.' Matthew greeted politely, despite fighting back the urge to facepalm.

'Hey Mattie!" shouted Alfred, already charging for his secret stash of hamburgers.

Matthew sighed, 'Al, those are going to go bad, and mouldy. Unless they're McDonalds.'

'COME ON!' Gilbert shouted 'ARE WE GOING TO READ THIS OR WHAT?'

This was a sucky first chapter *facedesk* This will probably be the only thing I'm going to write for a while but, all the fanfictions the characters are going to read will be written by me or waffles (I don't care if she lets me take her stories or not) it's 9:27 EST time right now and I should be finishing my homework but I got bored and decided to type this :D. I'm trying really hard to make all of them have equal speaking times and trying to get their personalities correct =3= SO! I'll try to have the next chapter up by tomorrow and they are going to read 8D. I don't know about you but, I'm excited to see them react to "Crashing The Unawesome Wedding" and "CanaDERP" since I don't have them planned but… I'm talking too much… Bye~  
~Churros (are yummeh)


	2. Chapter 2: Ariana Starr

**DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN HETALIA BECAUSE IF I DID, I WOULD'VE ALREADY MADE A EPISODE WHERE CANADA PLAYS HOCKEY AGAINST EVERYONE. JUST SAYIN' FLAMES ARE WELCOME**

As they all settled down to read, Gilbert took the book from the floor and went back on the couch to read.

'Now then,' he started as he flipped through the pages. 'What shall we read?'

'Why are you asking us when you're choosing, bastard?' Lovino grumbled.

'Aha! Found one!' He cheered, ignoring Lovino's comment.

'What's it called?' Matthew asked raising a brow.

'Ariana Starr: Year One at the World Academy and the summary is, Ariana had always been the loner but she didn't know why. Finally having enough, she transferred to the World Academy.'

Arthur looked Gilbert like he had grown two heads. 'Why in the name of Queen Elizabeth would you want to read that?!' he said as his voice slowly crescendoed.

Gilbert shrugged. 'I don't know. She sounds kind of hot.' he said wiggling his eyebrows.

'Ohonhonhonhon~ She does sound like quite the beauty.' Francis said, winking suggestively. (a/n bitch, Francis, you mean bitch)

'EWWW! IF WE'RE GOING TO READ A STORY ABOUT FRANCIS SCREWING SOMEONE THEN I WANT OUT!' Alfred screamed.

'ME TOO!' Arthur roared, already getting up and heading for the door.

'GET THE FUCK BACK HERE YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!' Yup. Lovino.  
'IF WE'RE GOING TO READ THIS, YOU'LL HAVE TO READ WITH US.'

Not wanting to experience the Italian rage again, they grudgingly went back and each sat on a squishy armchair.

'Now then,' Gilbert started as he clapped his hands. 'are you done interrupting and can the awesome me read now?'

'Go ahead~' the Spainard sang.

'Okay,' Gilbert started clearing his throat.

'Just get on with it, bastard.'

'Fine, fine...'

**'Ariana Starr: Year One at the World Academy. **

**'Ariana had never been like the others.'**

**'She would always stand out in a crowd with her blue eyes like limpid tears and hair that cascaded down like a golden waterfall.'**

'Yup. That's a Mary Sue alright.' Matthew said knowingly.

'What in the bloody hell is a Mary Sue? Sounds like a terrible name combination to me.' Arthur said incredulously.

'A Mary Sue is a character – usually female – without any flaws. Everybody likes her, the world basically revolves around her, and she usually has this one fake flaw, like clumsiness or something, or how she can't say no. They're horrible characters, because they've got no depth to them,' he explained. 'And because they're perfect to start with, there's almost never any character development.'

'So,' Alfred started out slowly. 'a whore.'

'Basically.' Matthew shrugged.

**As she walked around the plane, idly. She thought about her new life at the World Academy. She had left her previous school because of the constant bullying and teasing. (A/N because being the Mary Sue she is, she can't deal with it by herself. Oh noooo. She needs a knight in shining armor.) Maybe she would have more luck at the Academy. Maybe she won't get bullied.**

'Do we know a Ariana Starr?' Lovino started 'Or do we belong to the group who bullies her?'

'I hope we're part of the group who bullies her.' said Alfred 'I would hate to be friends with her.'

'Alfred.' Matthew scolded his brother half-heartedly. 'That wasn't very nice...' Though, he secretly agreed with his brother.

'Well,' Arthur started, already feeling he's the most sane of the group. 'Maybe this isn't quite based on real life and doesn't feature people who actually attends the WA.' (A/N I got lazy 8D)

'But the question is, how is she attending if she isn't a nation?' Antonio asked, frowning.

'...' Everyone looked at him shocked.

'Toni, did you hit your head? Are you okay? What happened, mon cher?' Francis asked frantically.

'I'm not stupid...' he mumbled.

'STOP INTERRUPTING THE AWESOME ME.' and without giving them time to continue, Gilbert started reading again.

She didn't know it, but Ariana was very pretty.

'Yup. Mary Sue.'

**Her hair cascaded down her back like a waterfall of gold and her eyes were the clearest of blue. She didn't have a tan (A/N because she's one of those girls who worries about her skin too much and will run away from the sun.) but her skin was a perfect porcelain white, save for a few freckles across her nose and cheeks. She was slender, with all the curves in the right places**.

'Oh! The Sueness! I can't take it!' Alfred shouted, throwing up his arms. (A/N FLAILLLL)

She had never had a boyfriend.

'Are Mary Sues usually lesbian?' Francis said, with a tinge of hope in his voice.

'No, they usually latch on to the first handsome male they come across,' said Matthew. 'So in fanfiction verse, probably my brother.'

'THANKS MATTIE!' Alfred shouted while wolfing down a burger.

Nobody had taken the time to know her, to know she wasn't a bitch. She was just shy.

'The faux-flaw...'

**Even though she insisted that her time here at the WA would be better, she knew it was doomed to be a disaster again. Who would ever like her? An orphan who never knew her parents?**

'Annnd she's a bitch.' Matthew said. 'But that was expected. And an orphan. A bitchy orphan! The standard Sue formula! Ta-Da~!' he cheered.

(A/N I'm sorry if Canada is OOC. Seeing as Canada might as well be the smartest of all of them, I figured he might read more books and know about these things.)

(Waffles taking over because Churros is becoming a grumpy bitch~ Surprisingly, Churros typed this)

**She walked around idly, and suddenly bumped into a handsome man, a man who would make any woman melt. He had emerald eyes and the farmer's tan. He rubbed the back of his head since he had fallen also (A/N FEEL DA POWAAHAHAHAHH), he stood up and offered Ariana a hand. Ariana ignored his hand and stood up by herself, dusting herself she said with no hesitation, "I can get up by myself."**

'And he turns into coffee drowning her, The End!' shouted Alfred, happily.

Matthew snorted. 'I wish."

(Right, Churros taking over again.)

**As soon as she said that, she regretted ever saying that. (A/N WILL SHE REALIZE THAT'S WHY SHE IS A LONER?) Why had she said that? She had never said that to anyone. (A/N riiiiiight…Unfortunately, she doesn't realize that's why she's a loner. Stay tuned for next time! Where she might finally realize!) Blushing furiously, she walked away from the man.**

'TEN BUCKS IT'S TONIO~' Gilbert shouted. Nobody agreed seeing as it's blatantly obvious it's Antonio.

'Ah! Wait!' Antonio grabbed her arm by impulse. Why had he done that? He never did that before.

'Pay up, suckers!' Gilbert shouted happily. He had been broke for a while, after all.

'...None of us agreed to the bet, bastard.' said Lovino, blankly.

'What?' the blonde ''bimbo' Alfred has mumbled snapped at him.

Thinking frantically for an excuse for what he had just done, he stuttered out.

'U-u-uh… w-would you like to m-meet m-my friends?' he stammered out.

'HOW COULD YOU TONI! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!' Gilbert bawled.

'Ay dios mio Gilbo...I'm sorry.' He couldn't bear betraying his closest friends.

'Don't worry about it, Toni!' cheered Gilbert, suddenly happy again.  
'Holy shit...He's worse than a hormonal teenage female...' Lovino mumbled before plucking the book from Gilbert's hands, seeing as he won't be reading anytime soon.

Ariana blinked. Once. Twice. Had she heard him correctly? She wouldn't mind meeting his friends, truthfully.

'S-s-sure...' she mumbled. (tut tut. Don't trust strangers, dearest Ariana.)

'FRATELLO~!' a certain Italian shouted as he knocked down the door. 'TIME FOR DINNER~ WE'RE HAVING PASTA, PIZZA, PASTA, AND DID I MENTION PASTA?' he shouted happily.

Lovino blinked, 'It's time for dinner already?'

''Ohh~ what's that, Lovi? Is that a book? Vee~ What's it about?' he babbled on and on and on.

'I'll explain after dinner.' was his reply as gently laid the book on the couch and followed his brother out to dinner.

'...Well? I'm starving! Let's go!' shouted Alfred while he ran out of the room.

Matthew sighed, 'but you just had like twenty burgers...'

'Exactly! I need to refill or I'll die!'

'Well if you can't beat 'em, join them...You guys coming?' He asked the Bad Touch Trio (is it bad touch trio or the bad friends trio?)

'Well, I'm hungry.' Gilbert shrugged.

Antonio and Francis looked at each other, nodded and followed the Canadian out to the cafeteria.

Waffles was shouting at me about my accidental spelling mistakes throughout the entire time I was typing this. Flames are welcome and if you want to correct my English errors, by all means, go ahead...Ugh...I need coffee...Till next time…  
~Churros

**RATE AND REVIEW, THEY ARE THE AUTHOR'S MILK AND COOKIESSSSS. Sorry for all the Author's note in various places, we'll try to stop. ~Waffles**

**We can't help making sarcastic comments… Me ish sorreh ;^; like hell you are. (I'm not.)**


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